Moving to Europe has been an incredible adventure, but one of the biggest challenges we’ve faced as a family is living in two separate cities. With Mike based in London for work and Elise and the boys in Estoril, we’ve had to navigate the complexities of maintaining a strong family unit while being physically apart. While there are clear advantages to this setup, it also comes with emotional and logistical hurdles that we are constantly working through.
The Challenges of Separation
Missing the Day-to-Day Moments
One of the hardest parts of being apart is not being there for the small, everyday moments. For Mike, this means missing out on Carson’s football training, Ethan’s day-to-day plans, and the casual, unscripted conversations that happen over dinner or on the drive home. Parenting from a distance means finding ways to stay engaged, offering guidance through texts, calls, and video chats rather than in-person conversations.
For Elise, the challenge is managing the household and the boys’ lives without Mike’s immediate support. Whether it’s helping Carson juggle his football schedule and schoolwork or being there for Ethan as he figures out his next steps, the responsibility often falls on her shoulders. While technology helps bridge the gap, there’s no substitute for being physically present when your family needs you.
Emotional Gaps and Support
Being in different cities means that we can’t always be there for each other in the moments that matter most. When one of us has a tough day, needs support, or just wants to celebrate a small win, we have to rely on calls or messages rather than a comforting presence. The absence is felt most during difficult times when a hug or a shared look would mean more than words ever could.
Logistical Challenges
Maintaining two households means double the planning. Coordinating travel schedules, ensuring bills and responsibilities are covered in both places, and managing the overall logistics of our unique setup takes effort. Flights between London and Lisbon become part of our routine, but even with careful planning, disruptions and unexpected changes are inevitable.
The Positives of Our Setup
Career Growth and Opportunities in London
Despite the challenges, living in two cities also brings opportunities. For Mike, being in London, one of the world’s biggest business hubs, has been an incredible professional experience. Working in Sales Enablement for TransferRoom in a global market has allowed him to develop his career in ways that wouldn’t have been possible elsewhere. The fast-paced nature of London’s business world, the networking opportunities, and the chance to grow within an industry-leading company are huge positives that justify the sacrifices we’ve made.
A Balanced Lifestyle in Estoril
For Elise, living in Estoril offers a completely different lifestyle—a slower pace, a beautiful coastal setting, and more flexibility to balance work and personal time. With her role at Bailey Nelson and consulting projects, she has been able to shape a career that fits around family life rather than the other way around. Being in Portugal also means more time to enjoy the outdoors, take in the beauty of our surroundings, and focus on the things that truly matter.
The Best of Both Worlds
While being apart has its difficulties, it also allows us to experience two very different lifestyles. London is dynamic, career-driven, and full of energy, while Estoril is relaxed, family-focused, and steeped in natural beauty. This contrast gives us a broader perspective on life and ensures that we never feel stuck in just one place. Our setup isn’t conventional, but it allows us to grow individually while still coming together as a family.
How We Make It Work
Frequent Travel & Reunions: Making sure we spend quality time together when we’re in the same city is a top priority. Whether it’s weekends in London, trips back to Estoril, or meeting somewhere new for a quick getaway, we maximize the time we have together.
Daily Communication: Even though we’re apart, we make a conscious effort to check in every day. Whether it’s a quick video call or a shared update on WhatsApp, staying connected in the small moments helps bridge the distance.
Trust & Understanding: We recognize that we’re each making sacrifices to build a better future. There’s no resentment—just an understanding that this is a chapter in our lives that will shape us in different ways.
Looking Ahead
We don’t know how long this two-city setup will last, but for now, we’re making it work. The goal is to keep growing—both as individuals and as a family—while embracing the opportunities that London and Estoril each offer. While the distance is tough, the experiences we’re gaining make it all worthwhile.
At the end of the day, home isn’t just a place—it’s the people we share it with, no matter where we are in the world.
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